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Happy Birthday, Now Find a Man

October 18, 2010

Last week was my birthday.  All in all, it was a pretty good day. I wasn’t all down on myself for being one year older and still waiting for the things I feel like I should have accomplished by now.  I took this bday in stride.

Have I gained back all the weight I lost? Yep. Does it define me? Working on that “no” coming more naturally, but no it doesn’t (or shouldn’t).  Am I still single? Yep. Does it define me? No and that response comes to me naturally now.

Yeah, I still hope to fall in love and get married. Yeah, I still hope I have a family.  But I’m not defined by these hopes and my happiness isn’t either.  Clearly, no one else got the message.

I got many wonderful birthday wishes on my birthday.  I felt the love far and wide.  But you know who else sent me birthday wishes?  eHarmony and  Yep, they both emailed me to wish me happy birthday and then to offer me a discount to re-join their site…I’m not getting any younger.

The message was perverse. I can only imagine what these promotional emails would have done to my psyche if I still let my single-ness defined me.  “I’m such a loser that match and eHarmony are willing to give me a discount to try and find a man. Even these sites see how absurd and depressing it is to be single at this age.”  But thankfully, that’s not what I thought.  Far from it.  The emails didn’t even phase me.

Nor did a birthday text from my well meaning aunt: “Happy bday. time for marriage and babies. love you.”

Sigh… I guess not every one is on the marriage and children don’t define me train.  Oh well, better luck next year.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. October 20, 2010 9:31 pm

    Happy Birthday!

  2. November 30, 2010 9:35 pm

    You disappeared. I hope that you are doing well!

  3. kris permalink
    February 6, 2011 12:33 pm

    You’ve been gone for almost 4 months hope that all is well and will get back to your blog soon! 🙂

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