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Weight Gain

October 12, 2010

I’ve now officially gained back ALL the weight I lost. And I feel like shit. I know that taking the focus off of weight gain, and listening to my body by honoring my hunger and fullness will lead to weight loss. But you know what else I’ve learned? Listening to my body and honoring my hunger and fullness is much harder than counting calories (for me). 

For some reason, I thought intuitive eating would be…intuitive and therefore easy. At least easier. It’s not.  I can’t seem to keep intuitive eating up.  It’s tiring, time consuming, and quite un-intuitive for me.

The flaw isn’t with what intuitive eating wants me to do, the flaw is with me.  For IE to work, you need to be connected to your body and I’m not.

I’m in physical therapy right now and at the beginning of each appt the physical therapist asks me what my pain level is at and where on my foot do I feel the pain today.  Every appt, I struggle to answer these questions.  I’m just not that self aware of my body and how it feels.

If my connection to my body impedes me from even identifying and qualifying my pain, how am I ever going to do that with hunger and fullness?

So here I am, failing at IE when I know I would succeed at calorie counting (at least in the short run).  There is something comforting in counting your calories in and out. There is something tangible about it. Something I can point to for success.

I consumed 1600 cals today and I burned 400 this morning at the gym.

Good job, Roxy.

I want that sense of accomplishment back. And intellectually, I know calorie counting isn’t the answer but getting that connected to my body for IE to work seems like a daunting task. And whether right or wrong, the weight gain has got to stop.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. October 13, 2010 6:28 am

    Intuitive eating is not easy – takes practice and patience and with time, you can get in touch with your bodies signals.

    But, sometimes, it feels frustrating and like too much – so we go back to doing what feels comfortable which is dieting and counting. It is all part of the process and no matter what you end up doing, that trust you need with your body is available when you are ready.

    • October 16, 2010 9:17 am

      I hope you’re right Christie because I really want to get there some day!

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