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Fifteen Days

August 16, 2010

Ever since my triathlon, I’ve been in a state of apathy.  I just haven’t had the motivation to do anything productive.  Working out is a distant memory… and my eating habits, well let’s just say not so hot.

As I type this, I am sitting here overstuffed and uncomfortable.  The scary thing is that I didn’t even enjoy my meal as I was eating it but did I stop?  Nope.  Just kept going.  Tonight wasn’t a binge… far from it.  It was just some serious overeating and ignoring of body cues.

I am traveling and I wasn’t really hungry but felt like I needed to have dinner so I got a sandwich and fries.  The buffalo sauce on the sandwich was way too hot and made the meal extremely unappetizing.  The fries were eh.  And I wasn’t even hungry… but not being hungry didn’t make intellectual  sense.  I had lunch at noon, a snack at 5pm and it was now 9pm.  And although I didn’t “feel” hungry, I “believed” I must be hungry.  So I found a restaurant, ordered a meal and I ate… and ate… and ate.  All the while, never hungry for food and not enjoying it either.  Now, it’s 11pm and I feel uncomfortable.

A month ago, I found myself feeling similar to the way I feel tonight.  And I decided to do something about it.  After much talking about it, I became a pupil of intuitive eating.   And it was working.  I began to “get it”… leaving food on my plate when I was full… skipping lunch with co-workers because I wasn’t ready to eat yet.   I felt like I was in full swing of practicing intuitive eating right around the same time of my triathlon.  I felt empowered… conquering the triathlon and overeating within days of each other was the best kind of high.

To be clear, “practicing intuitive eating” doesn’t mean I was 100% successful but it did mean that I was trying 100% of the time.  All of this lasted approximately 15 days and then it began to all fall apart.  I can’t tell you what happened or what triggered my demise, but I’m willing to try again.

This time, let’s see if I can tack 5 more days on to my intuitive eating journey.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. August 16, 2010 11:42 pm

    I love your positive end to this! You’ve fallen a little, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t get back up.

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