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Bringing Up The Rear

July 28, 2010

The triathlon has come and gone… and I loved it!   But before I loved it, I was dreading it.

I went to go pick up my packet and register on Saturday evening and all the nerves began to hit me.  I felt so out of place.  As I stood in line, everyone around me was thin and fit… and I know that kind of sh*t shouldn’t bother me, but it still does. 😦  I began to question my decision to do this in the first place.  I started to think, “why the hell did you think this was a good idea?”  “what if I’m the fat girl that can’t finish?”  “what if I’m the fat girl that finishes last?”  “what if I’m the fat girl that passes out?”  I began to have all these fat-hating thoughts, which is kind of the antithesis of why I wanted to do the triathlon in the first place!!!   By Saturday night, I was just hoping something would happen that would be out of my control that would prevent me from racing (bad thoughts, I know).

Sunday morning came and I woke up at 4 am and I began to give myself a pep talk… I’ve been training for this tri forever… I can do this… I have no other goal than to finish so if I need or want to go slower, then I can do it… There is no way that I cannot complete this triathlon… This triathlon distance is WELL within my comfort zone… I am going to rock this sh*t!

And I got out there and I did it.  I finished… although I wasn’t the last one to come across the finish line, I was one of the last racers according to the timed results.  But that’s ok… this wasn’t a race for me, it was a journey.  It was to do something that seemed somewhat impossible.

But now that I’ve completed the journey, I’m ready to race. 🙂  Yeah, I’m saying what you think I’m saying… I want to do another triathlon… and another triathlon… and another triathlon.  For now, my plans are only to do sprint distances and to better my time and my ranking with each one.

So all in all, this triathlon journey that started at the beginning of the year has come to an end… and now let the racing begin!  Hopefully next race, I’m not bringing up the rear.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. Thisandthatmia permalink
    July 28, 2010 9:42 am

    I am so proud of you!!

  2. kris permalink
    July 28, 2010 11:43 am

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You have accomplished something most people (fat or thin) have only dreamed of doing.
    I’m so very proud of you! 🙂

  3. July 28, 2010 12:43 pm

    Wow!!! Way to go! 😀

  4. July 29, 2010 12:24 am

    Good job!

  5. dufmanno permalink
    July 29, 2010 10:29 am

    That is amazing CONGRATS!
    I wish I could do something as grueling and fierce as this.

  6. Beatrice permalink
    July 30, 2010 2:52 am

    Congrats! Well done. You should be proud of yourself . Just think about…how many people out there are unhappy about their weight or level of fitness and are doing absolutely nothing about it? I bet very many. But there you are, you are doing something about it. Like you said its all about you and your journey. You have your time and all you need to do is gauge your future performance based on this. I’m very proud of you.

  7. July 30, 2010 9:04 am

    Thanks everyone for the congrats!!! It was a lot of fun! 🙂

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