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To All My Married Friends

June 23, 2010

A friend sent me this Glamour blog post yesterday, 19 Things You Should Never Say to a Single Friend and oh how I could relate to so many of these.  I’ve talked about some of these before, but it never hurts to talk about them again.  🙂

These cliches and sayings didn’t always bother me as much as they do now… but I’m quickly approaching my 32nd birthday and I’ve never had a serious boyfriend in my adult life.  Nothing anyone says is going to make that o.k. and really, my friends should stop trying.

My top 3 of the Glamour list?  Here they are.

3. “Well, when my boyfriend and I first got together…”  Oh how I hate this one.  It drives me insane.  I recognize that the person is trying to tell you how it can work out, but all they are really doing is reminding me that it works out for everyone else and just not me.

2. “Wow, I was wish I was single and in your shoes.”  This has been said to me a few times in recent years and each time, it takes all of my discipline and restraint not to assault that person.  This creates such a primal reaction in me that I’m just not a good enough writer to express in words why it bothers me so much.  But let’s just say, I find it purely obnoxious, ignorant and condescending.  I get it… I get to go out and sometimes live what seems like a glamorous single life but at the end of the night, I’m going home to an empty bed.   And like the Glamour post said: if you really want to be single, you CAN be so stop with the foolishness.

1. “It will happen when you are not looking.”  Whatever.  I call bullshit.

And let me add a 20th thing you should never say or do to a single friend.  Please don’t interrogate us.  We know we’re single, there is no need to continually remind us.  And most likely, we don’t want to talk about it.

Just this weekend, I was visiting some friends and the husband began his usual interrogation into my dating life.

So are you dating anyone?  Have you gone any dates?  Any prospects?  I’m very invested in your love life.

I know he means well, but you making me regurgitate how crappy my dating life is doesn’t help or benefit me… so please stop.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. June 23, 2010 1:21 pm

    Totally agree with this list…a few of my friends are smug marrieds (thank you, Bridget Jones) and they were relentless. Now that I am dating someone, the new obsession is marriage/kids. Come on…I met a guy that I haven’t had the urge to poison and now they want to pressure me into branding/breeding. LOL

  2. Nay permalink
    June 23, 2010 9:17 pm

    I swear sometimes I think you are reading my mind. Love this post. I also hate it when someone says “why are you still single? or “don’t you want to have kids?”

    Signed – Thirtysomething and probably so used to being single I wouldn’t know how to act anyway. LOL!

  3. Kaia permalink
    July 7, 2010 2:57 pm

    I’m new here, but the most condescending thing said to me happened two weeks after my five-year-old relationship ended. It went:

    “Oh, so now you have to START OVER!”

    Complete with head tilt and probably sincere sympathy, but it still made me want to deck her, because, come on. Whether or not you have been in a relationship or not five years of your life and everything that happens during that time makes you into a different person. There’s no starting over. There’s only picking up the pieces and moving on. Big difference.

    (Three years later I’m still single.)

  4. July 9, 2010 9:24 am

    Its always good to know that there are ladies out there who feel my pain… now let’s hope our married and dating friends start getting it! 🙂

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