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Falling Out of Love with My Hair

May 17, 2010

It’s been 2 months since my big chop and still no regrets BUT I’m just not loving my hair the way that I used to.   I’m not really a fan of the length right now.  As crazy as it sounds to me (the girl who thought she couldn’t rock short hair), I LOVED the look of my hair right after my big chop (when it was cut really close to the scalp) much more than I like it now that I’m “growing it out”.  I think part of the reason is that as it grows out, I see more of my curl pattern and more importantly, hair texture… and I’m just not loving it.

There are several parts of my hair that isn’t really curly but has more of a cottony look to it, which I knew was possible but was not hoping for.  I guess this is the problem when you have hair envy and/or hair idols throughout your transition and directly after your big chop… you are expecting (even if irrationally) that your hair will look like their hair if you just use the same products and techniques they did.  And so far, that has NOT been my experience!

I’m also desperately bored with my hair (although I have recently started using a new product and technique that I’ll talk about later this week after a couple more days using it).  Headbands just aren’t doing the trick anymore to spice up my TWA (teenie weenie afro)… a couple more inches and my hair will be long enough to do twist outs hopefully and that will help some… maybe.  Ugh.

So many reasons why I’m no longer infatuated with my hair.  This is a bummer.  😦

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. Thisandthatmia permalink
    May 17, 2010 11:11 am

    Are we going to get photos?

    • May 17, 2010 2:27 pm

      ah pictures… I’ve really dropped the ball on this one @thisandthat. No fear. I’m taking tons of pictures but just never seem to get around to uploading them! Soon! 🙂

  2. Myia permalink
    May 17, 2010 12:41 pm

    I am experiencing some of the same feelings. I have transitioned for about 15 months and can tell that my texture isn’t what I thought it would be but I continuing to move forward. I hope to do my big chop in a few months so that I can truly see my curl pattern. Despite my hair not being what I thought it might be, I am still excited!

    • May 17, 2010 2:28 pm

      @Myia, isn’t it weird… not really sure you’re liking your hair texture, but still loving the decision you made to go natural?! Because I really don’t have any regrets and although I am not AS in love with my curl pattern and texture as I would like to be… the fact is that I would never go back to relaxers (due more to the pain than a certain principle or belief).

      Good luck on your big chop… I was so happy when I did my big chop!!! Was an awesome day. 🙂

  3. May 17, 2010 3:43 pm

    My hair gets to a certain length and I have to re-chop it. I simply do not have the patience to work through the “in between” stage when it’s not short enough to do properly but not long enough to style.

  4. kris permalink
    May 17, 2010 4:09 pm

    I totally understand….all you can do is have patience and try not to compare your hair to others because you will always be disappointed. I just big chopped last Wednesday after 7months of transitioning and my texture is not what i thought it would be (4a/b), and it is only 1 1/2inches long. I am able to cornrow it so I’ll be doing braid outs for now. Give yourself a break you’re not alone.

    • May 19, 2010 10:32 am

      Yes, the comparing thing @Kris is what is killing me… even though I know better! And CONGRATS on your big chop!!! 🙂

  5. May 17, 2010 5:48 pm

    growing hair out is always a pain in the rump. I hope your patience is rewarded.

  6. May 19, 2010 10:33 am

    @NCP and @amy, growing out hair does blow! I’m so curious what my hair will look like when it’s longer but at least I know that I love it super short too. 😉

  7. June 2, 2010 4:12 am

    Hey! I just found your blog btw and love your candor! I’ve been without a perm for about 7 years (hmm…never thought about how long its been!). When I first BC’d, I only occasionally trimmed my hair for about 2 years. I got bored with the length and the amount of bobby pins it took to hold it back. Now, every time I get the notion, I BC..hehe…every 4-6 months or so and always with a glass of wine 🙂 . I’ve only recently decided to let it grow out(cause I want to try different pinned up styles) and I’m in the awkward mid-phase (i.e. too short for an up do and not long enough to look cute). I guess we all fall in and out of love with our hair (because of length, texture, or a persistent bad hair day).. just be patient and (try to) enjoy the process!

    • June 4, 2010 11:17 pm

      Thanks @DD. SEVEN years??? Wow 🙂 I can’t wait to be able to say that! Thanks for the comment.

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