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Fiscal Responsibility Blows

May 4, 2010

I’ve got to tell you peeps, that this whole fiscal responsible sh*t really blows.  I don’t think I realized how much I used buying things as a way to feel better.  But two weeks ago, I was jolted into reality… a reality that I had been avoiding for a really long time.

And so in the last two weeks, I have been living within my means.  In other words, no credit cards.  If I want something, I need to have the money on hand (or more precisely,  in my checking account) to buy it.   This has been very hard.  VERY VERY HARD.

There have been so many times where I wanted to buy something…

  • new hair products (and yes, I know I have a problem… I am a product junkie).
  • a new swimsuit
  • new headbands
  • random crap I didn’t need from the grocery store
  • new tops and summer sweaters from old navy
  • new bike accessories
  • books on intuitive eating (that’s what the library is for)

and the list goes on (not for much longer, but there was more)!

But each time, I wanted to buy any of these things- I HAD to stop myself and see how much money I had left in my checking account and there was never enough dough to justify buying any of it.  Let me say from the outset, I am proud of myself.  But this responsibility thing sucks… up until 3 days ago, I was in a funk brought on by my new fiscal responsibility.

I didn’t realize this at first, but a few days ago it became apparent that my lack of shopping was making me sad.  Who knew how much shopping caused me to be happy (albeit a false happy).  I knew food had this power over me (enter stage right my overeating problems), but I had no idea that I was a bonafide shopaholic.

And because this is my honest space, I’ll have to admit that I did go out and buy something new and shiny this weekend which has eased my funk a bit… I bought a new gym membership at an upscale shiny new gym.   And yeah, I know… I just quit my old gym last month because I am trying to lower my monthly expenses and realized the gym membership wasn’t a good investment especially since I rarely ever went.  BUT, I had the money to do it and talked those gym guys down to $55/month (way lower than what they initially quoted me), which is also $15 less than I was paying at my old gym.

So I’m not cured, but who knows… if I go to my new gym on a regular basis, then it will be worth my $55/month (this is what I keep telling myself).   And I know that I do need to find new ways to make myself “happy” or to keep myself “busy” because I cannot continue to create happiness with food or with shopping (I’m open to ideas!).

And as for my spending trends in April… it’s looking a little better than March (where I spent $5,511.67) .  In April, my total monthly spending was $5,185.83 (down $325.84).  And yeah, I’ve got more work to do, but guess who is heading in the right direction?!?!?!  Yeah, that would be me. 😉

click to enlarge

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 4, 2010 4:40 pm

    Congrats on heading in the right directions with your spending!
    I check my account before I head to the store sometimes too–It does help b/c I am then forced to ask myself “do I really need this?” and most of the time the answer is no lol

    • May 5, 2010 12:54 pm

      thanks @danyelle! And the whole “do I really need this?” thing actually works. Who would of thunk it! 😉

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