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Exactly how do you flirt???

February 4, 2010

I have a flirtatious personality.  It serves me well in all areas of my life.  And I’m not an overly shy person, but I have no idea how women get guys to notice them.  It happens all around me, but just not to me.

Here’s my current scenario… there’s a guy who works in my building.  Our paths have crossed a few times and once we were put in the situation where we got to chat for a bit.  I can go weeks without seeing him and then randomly run into him at a meeting or in the cafeteria.  For awhile there, we would acknowledge each other with a nod or a smile when our paths crossed.  But nothing more.

Today, we ran into each other at a meeting.  I initially walked by him without realizing he was there but once I sat down, I saw him and perked up.  I attempted to smile at him and that didn’t seem to work… at least he didn’t smile back.

I can’t say yet that I like this guy but I can say that he has piqued my interest.  But we’re never around each other enough for there to be more.   For all I know, this dude has a fiance.  As a side note, I strongly believe that men who are engaged should have to wear something tangible to let us single ladies know that they are taken.  I mean, single guys see the diamond and they know not to waste their time… it would be nice for us single ladies to have a level playing field of sorts in this matter.

But back to the point at hand.  I want to “run into” this guy more.  I want to find out more about him.  I want to start to figure out if he’s someone I could like.   But I have no idea how to “run into” him more.  I have no idea how to find out his story or if this is a guy I’d actually like.  I have girlfriends when faced with this exact scenario somehow find ways to talk to the guy, be in the same place with the guy and subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) let the guy know she’s interested.

But I can’t seem to figure out a way to do any of those things.  It was one thing when I was in school, you met guys constantly but now being out in the working world- meeting new guys is like finding that needle in a haystack.  I had a colleague who also works in my building that was in a similar situation and she just went up to someone that her interest and she had in common and asked “so what’s his story?” … she found out he was single, liked what she heard from their mutual acquaintance and asked for their mutual acquaintance to make the introduction.  They’ve been dating for several weeks now.

So yeah, I guess that’s one way to do it.  But I’m not my colleague and I’m not that bold so I’m looking for the more subtle path forward.  Is there such a thing?

I have no delusions that this guy is the one but damn, if I can’t figure out a way to meet men who pique my interest- then I’m up shit’s creek without a paddle.

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